Category Archives: CrummyCook


I think the only way I’m going to get better at this is to evaluate the results and figure out how to improve. I’ve got a multi-step approach here:

  1. Ask whoever eats the food what was good and what was bad
  2. Admit what was good and what was bad to myself
  3. Figure out why the bad was bad and why the good was good
  4. Make some hypothesis about how to fix the bad and clone the good
  5. Resolve to do them

Both Debbie and Val liked the pasta.  I thought it came out pretty well.  So there wasn’t really much bad at the end.  But a few observations:

  • I cooked the whole recipe, which was humongous.  Because it wouldn’t fit in any of our pans, I used an old stainless steel Dutch oven we’ve had for years, which was graduate-student stuff when we bought it.  It doesn’t handle heat well, so there are hot spots all over the bottom which burned during cooking (the recipe involved sauteeing all kinds of stuff).  Note to self: get a better pot
  • I was scrambling at the end to coordinate the stuff sauteeing in the pot and the pasta cooking in boiling water.  I miscalculated when the water would boil and had some (mildly) heart-stopping moments at the end when I was worried the sauteeing stuff was going to burn before the pasta would be ready.  It worked out, but the takeaway is: Never underestimate how long it takes a mass of water to come to a boil.

I guess that’s it for this week.

Orecchiette with Cauliflower, Anchovies, and Fried Croutons

I didn’t cook Friday this week because Debbie had some colleagues over for a work thing and I’m not ready.  Not so much not ready for cooking for others, but not ready for cooking for a big bunch.

Orecchiette with Cauliflower, Anchovies, and Fried Croutons(Tami, an old video partner of mine, had a gig for a while as head cook at a hospital.  She said you shouldn’t put a gallon of chili powder into a big batch of chili; it doesn’t scale up like the other ingredients.)

So I’m cooking tonight for Debbie and my cousin Val, who is visiting from out of town.

I couldn’t sleep this morning, picked up the new Bon Appetit that came in the mail and found this recipe for pasta with veggies.  It looked do-able, it looked not too heavy for nicer weather, it looked fail-safe.  I went for it.

Debbie sneered at it.  “Well, it looks kind of non-standard.”  She meant the croutons, which I explained to her – quoting from the article copy – was part of the rustic Puglian charm reflected in the dish.  She said, “well, I suppose you can make whatever you want.”

My writing buddy and dedicated foodie Josh came over later that morning.  I showed him the ingredients on the counter, and he said, “Oh, pretty good,” but then he picked up the one non-ingredient from this dish – a sack of red Bhutanese rice – and said, “this stuff is great.”  When I said it wasn’t part of what I was making, he sneered, too, although for different reasons than Debbie.  “It’s just throwing together some pasta,” he said.  “Why don’t you cook something that takes most of the day, that teaches you something?”

Why not, indeed.  I’ll work my way up to it.  The first element of success is showing up regularly; the rest follows in time.

The tomato and onion tart

First of all, thank God for Epicurious.  Mary – one of my scarily un-crummy cook friends – told me about them while teaching me how to make a souffle.  They are a searchable database for Gourmet and Bon Appetit recipes, where you can type in your ingredients-on-hand and see what they’ve got.  In this case, I had too much Gruyere cheese (from the souffle) and a tub of pitted olives I’d bought on a whim the previous week at Whole Foods.  I typed in “gruyere” and “olives” and, voila: the Tomato and Onion Tart.

Easy recipe, once I made the crucial simplifying assumption that I would buy rather than build the crust.  (Using pre-made stuff is no shame in the tech business: it’s called “buy vs. build” and it’s even a bit more chic to buy than to do it yourself”.)  Whole Food’s whole-wheat frozen pie crust was probably easier on my constitution than the Butter Pastry Dough they were going to have me prepare.  I can always make a dough in Year 2.

It went well.  Debbie – who had just come home off the road – liked it (and even ate a smidgen of seconds, a surer proof of approval than mere words).  For the first time since New Years, no criticism and self-criticism afterwards.  Life is sweet.

Why the Crummy Cook?

So, at age 59 I’ve decided to learn how to cook.

Not from scratch.  I’ve never been like my poor dad, who couldn’t even make a hamburger or boil an egg.  I know the basics.  I know a few dishes.

I decided as a New Year’s resolution to do it regularly, once a week at least.

And, since we live in the age where everyone wants to write and no one wants to read, I’ve got to blog about it, too.

Hopefully my accounts of flailing around with recipes, cutting boards, and flame will amuse some readership.  If so, please let me know.